@DirtMcTurd: If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave
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@RobDenBleyker: If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties.
@Sickayduh: ME: What's your favorite movie? DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it? DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo
@mrtruthandsoul: The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted