@DirtMcTurd: If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.
@ThisOneSayz: 3yo: play it again! Me: I can't, baby *3yo throws epic fit* Radio, you're tearing this family apart.
@TheMichaelRock: Don't be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.