@KKAlThani: If you go by "there are plenty more fish in the sea" you'll never find love cause let's start with the fact that you think you can date fish
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@LostLettermen: In response to McDonald's pay with hugs campaign, Nationwide will allow you to pay for insurance with DEATH.
@SICKOFWOLVES: I JUST WANT A JOB WHERE I CAN SIT ABSOLUTELY STILL AND IF ANYONE DISTURBS ME I GET TO SCREAM
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *calls* How are my kids? Grandma: We're having so much fun Me: Maybe they can stay with you a few extra- Grandma: Come get your kids.
@Mr_Kapowski: *returns lost dog* Lady: That's not him. He was white Me: *holding a brown dog* He asked to swing by the salon. Add the color to my reward