@shanethevein: If you go into a bar by yourself and ask for a water the bartender looks at you like you have leprosy.
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@NotthatAdamWest: The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine.
@TEXASVETERAN: How do you say "I'm sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day." in Korean?
@hippieswordfish: [party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT