@BuckyIsotope: If you go to an animal shelter and ask for a cat, they get really upset if you play them like a guitar and scream ROCK YOU LIKE A FURRICANE.
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@LilFlaOrange30: I'm like a cartoon character, not because I'm cute or funny, but because I wear the same clothes every day.
@RayfromCincy: The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
@DanMentos: "Dave just showed up" Dave the fireman or Dave who always uses inappropriate abbreviations? *Dave barges in* HEY GUYS I'M DTF "Yeah I dunno"
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.