@AaronFullerton: If you had a terrible childhood, you'll be super-bummed out by Bank of America's options for security questions.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [spelling bee] your word is 'hors d'oeuvre' "can you use it in a sentence?" yes…'I bet this kid can't spell hors d'oeuvre'
@SortaSarcastic: Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ...
@Tharin_P: Why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one?