@OutOfLeftField_: If you hate awkward silences, then necrophilia isn't for you.
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@juliussharpe: At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.
@SortaBad: I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
@UNTRESOR: I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "If I died, would you remarry?" Me: "Yup." Wife: "And you'd even let her use my golf clubs??" Me: "No silly! She's left handed."