@TheMichaelRock: If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump.
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@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
@behindyourback: If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
@mstluvstrinkets: Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
@shariv67: Him "You run like a gazelle." Me "I'm graceful?" Him "No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."