@charmfoz: If you have 6+ numbers after your name as part of your Twitter handle I can only assume you're an inmate & tweeting from prison.
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@iGreenMonk: Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
@Ygrene: Cop: was it you who stole all the anti-perspirant Me: *not sweating* Cop: well shit I don't know how to read this
@RtrJan: My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk.