@DanKCharnley: If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.
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@rockymomax: [adopting dog] VOLUNTEER: we need your life history to make sure this animal is safe [leaving hospital with baby] DOCTOR: don't let him die
@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.