@BlackCatBettie: If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends.
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@milehighocd: Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*
@Fred_Delicious: [rolls a boiled egg down the bar to a hot girl] me - "that was an accident can I have my egg back please"
@ThisOneSayz: "So I go east? Then west? Then back east?" ~ Me, drunk and getting directions from the inflatable stick figure in front of a car dealership