@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.
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@mattgallo123: Febreeze works just like in the commercials, only instead of being impressed, mom comes home and says "it still smells like pot in here."
@LoverOfComics94: How to be a politician: 1. Tell people what you're going to do 2. Don't do it 3. Change the subject.
@anerdonfire2: Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party
@NoogsCorner: Cop: Why are your eyes bloodshot? Me: My girlfriend dumped me and I was crying... Cop: Oh. Me: ...so I smoked weed to feel better.