@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.
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@trojansauce: [getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie
@Coolisiana: *saves baby from burning building* "How can I ever repay you?!" Favstar in the bio "Oh I don't have Twi-" *returns baby to burning building*
@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you