@justaride: If you have time-stamped VHS footage of yourself blowing out birthday candles, you'll eventually be abducted.
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@CerebralWreck: Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!
@kerihw: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's fly into a window.
@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: know what you're getting yet? Me: a burger and one of those coloring menus. Her: oh, you have a kid at home? Me: no.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: Gather round creatures & I'll tell you what you'll eat ANTEATER: I'm SO excited! DUNG BEETLE: I got a bad feeling about this