@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: The kid was holding a sparkler. Me: ...I thought her arm was on fire. Wife: You hosed her down for 9 minutes.
@Douchekevin: This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'.