@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
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@NikatNiteNite: My dog barks for 2 reasons: 1. When somewhere in the world another dog is barking. 2. When somewhere in the world no other dog is barking.
@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
@ericsshadow: [me telling a joke] guy wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand.