@bridger_w: If you have to wait a while to get a fast food order, say, "I thought this was FAST food." The place will never recover from that mega burn
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@PeaceInTruth1: Just because I'm smiling doesn't necessarily mean that I like you. I might be picturing you on fire.
@DanMentos: "How can I help you? Hi I'd like a root canal "Are you a patient here?" No "Who referred you to us?" No one "Ok then why-" I have a Groupon
@tarashoe: ohgod what if there's some murderer in the backseat of my car while i'm driving alone and they hear me singing this cranberries song off-key