@bridger_w: If you have to wait a while to get a fast food order, say, "I thought this was FAST food." The place will never recover from that mega burn
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@TheWoodenslurpy: I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.
@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".
@RichardDawkins: I can't think of many people who deserve to go to hell, but people who teach its existence to vulnerable children are prime candidates.
@Coops_Bradley: Just found out I'm pregnant. At least that's what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.