@robfee: If you have twins name them Adam & Steve so when someone says "Uh, it's Adam & Eve" you can be like "OH REALLY?" and have the boys attack!!
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@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@huntigula: "I'd have to say my two favorite things are sex, and not having my head bitten off." -soon to be disappointed praying mantis
@_Water_Baby: They say that unless you remember history you are destined to repeat it. -I say to myself every time I think about cutting bangs.
@truegritrumble: WIFE: What're the kids doing? ME: Playing lawn darts. W: Is it safe? M: Hope not. W: M: W: Wtf M: Can't afford to send both to college, Jen