@WickedDarkEyes: If you haven't used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you're not me.
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@Home_Halfway: KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait
@Jenny4ashley: Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*
@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.