@velvettusk: If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield's, I'd probably shit my pants.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.
@Smug_Lemur: Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
@realHamOnWry: *smudges lipstick* *smears eyeliner* *gets mascara on earlobe* *never tries make-up sex again*
@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car