@Breadery: If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles.
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@chrisrockozfan: Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
@ChaseMit: I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.