@Breadery: If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles.
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@TheDailySchmuck: They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate.
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.
@Elizasoul80: Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible.