@squirrel74wkgn: If you hold your ear up to the seashell at my house, you can hear my wife yelling at me for peeing in the ocean.
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@nikkithecanuck: I must admit, my "Kiss Me, I Have The Zika Virus" T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car.
@mantej: Why would anyone ever think gay people tear apart the fabric of society? They love fabric.
@funandmisery: BATMAN: “...because bats scare me and I want criminals to share that fear. What about you?” INTIMACYMAN: “Oh haha...no reason I guess”
@jazmasta: [emergency room] "We need to put pressure on the wound!" [to wound] We've been together 6 months now, I think we should move in together"