@squirrel74wkgn: If you hold your ear up to the seashell at my house, you can hear my wife yelling at me for peeing in the ocean.
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@BastardProphet: I'm in the other room and I hear my 3yo shout, "In your face, poop". Then the toilet flushes. I would give anything to get that excited about pooping again.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [in class] Hermione: For once I want the teacher to get my name right! Gar4y With a Silent 4: Totally know what ya mean
@TheAlexP: * see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole
@SirEviscerate: ME: I was left in the woods as a baby. DATE: So, were you raised by wolves? ME: Not exactly. *gnaws a tree in half*