@CheryeDavis: If you insist on changing someone, do it without their knowledge....Like by poisoning their food.
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@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
@aligarchy: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt? ME: no thank you i don't want any proof that i've eaten here
@adultblackmale: [i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on
@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.