@juliussharpe: If you just got invited to do something on New Year's Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
@DirtMcTurd: 6: Dad what's a Kardashian? Me: Nobody really knows... 6: Sounds really stupid Me: I love you
@FeverFlave: First date: And if you could slide over a little bit my Mom would like to sit next to you...