@juliussharpe: If you just got invited to do something on New Year's Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
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@ShaeAaron: "I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time." -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior.
@t0shiba: 90 people have swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom.
@withanewname: *beep TSA: here try again *beep TSA: here try again *beep TSA: here try again ME: WTF? TSA: Sorry dude it was my watch. Here's your pants.