@kuusela34: If you keep pronouncing the L in salmon I going to stab you with my kah-nife
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@lisaxy424: "zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real" - me, walking my dog at night
@QwertyJones3: "Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then.
@haveigotnews: Apple announces iPhone bug that allows it to be hacked with a single click, in a 'more intuitive and natural way than an Android bug'.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy.