@AngryRaccoon2: If you keep your curtains open at night, please know I WILL slow down as I drive by to critique your decorating and see what you're watching.
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@randomnloveit: If people are going to judge me they should at least hold up scorecards so I know how I'm doing.
@FlyJ_: I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap.
@MariyaAlexander: Cops have a new radar that lets them see through walls into our homes but imagine if this technology fell into the wrong hands! Oh wait...
@sucittaM: Watching my mother-in-law order at Starbucks is like watching a drunk gorilla try to start a car with a french fry.