@joeldanger: If you know shes had a bad day just ask her how she is doing. Then when shes talking you can think of a good tweet that makes fun of her day
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@weinerdog4life: When God invented snakes he was like do you want legs or do you want to look like a scary belt, too late scary belt
@OrangeFact: Apples are actually bad for your health! Scientists have discovered that everyone who ate an Apple during the 15th Century is now dead.
@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.