@joeldanger: If you know shes had a bad day just ask her how she is doing. Then when shes talking you can think of a good tweet that makes fun of her day
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@LackOfShame: While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast.
@JosesLovesYou: -911 Whats the emergency? My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir? Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking?
@KKAlThani: My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell "OMG! I'm on my way now!" & tell them my brother had a bad car accident.
@ScottLinnen: Your "COEXIST" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace.