@Cheeseboy22: If you lead a horse to pretzels and then to water, he will definitely drink.
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@PinkCamoTO: *pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?
@Ristolable: *gives joke answer to daughter's 75th consecutive question* [20 years later, she's in an office] "Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973"
@liz_buckley: People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.
@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.