@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
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@thepunningman: "What's that?" I call it a 'knife' "Wow, that's the best thing since bread!" Gregory, I am about to blow your mind
@leechee420: Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
@HeyZeus666: At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.