@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@asanders1972: A 22 year old girl said to me "there's NO WAY you are 41" I put her in my pocket and took her home. She's mine now.
@theshantilly: 7: We should probably sell our pets before they get old and die. I guess I know which of my kids is NOT getting power of attorney.
@MaiPareshaan: This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that "it stays in your system forever," so I swallowed a table to stick it under it.