@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
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@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers
@EndhooS: "If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily
@Rschooley: How dare Beyonce bring symbols of past racial strife into popular music performance!!
@DamienFahey: Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.