@_Tempo11: If you leave your dog tied up outside a corner store I'm walking it. No need to ask. Be back soon.
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@RidiculousSheri: Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks.
@Manda_like_wine: I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels.
@katta_IoIkatt: The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true.
@Vodkantots: The last time I left the house without wearing blush, someone tried to drive a stake through my heart.