@KevinFarzad: If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute.
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@UncleDuke1969: Son: Dad, is cousin Billy a mosquito? Me: In Alabama? S: Yeah. M: Of course not. Why do you ask? S: Mom said he was the product of insects.
@iwearaonesie: "you yelled 'this is not my daddy!' when i picked you up to leave the store. you're lucky i let you live" -how dad signs my birthday cards
@AIMMadellynne: Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I've been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are.
@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.