@jwoodham: If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
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@GashleyMadison: "For a really awkward time, call me." -me, leaving my number on bathroom stalls.
@iwearaonesie: Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow
@DancesWithTamis: Let me get this straight. The guy was raised by animals in the jungle with no human contact whatsoever and he named himself George?