@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn't look up* I already know them.
@KeetPotato: wife: "what on earth are you doing?" me: "making a penguin" wife: "that's a pigeon" me: [opening freezer door] "not for long"
@NYC_Blonde: I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight.
@blondecalamity: My decision to have kids was based solely on the fact that I was so tired of seeing movies in their entirety & craved constant interruption.