@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.
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@sarcasticmommy4: Me: It's been a while since we've had to take one of the kids to the ER. Trampoline: Hold my beer.
@imagine_vegas: Still haven't cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?