@noog: If you listen to a Miley Cyrus song backwards you can hear Satan refusing to have sex with her.
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@ImKevinito: Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless.
@thatUPSdude: Honey I'm home from Costco. "You didn't buy anything stupid this time?" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?
@HockeyTornado: Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.