@topaz_kell: If you look up my hair color history at the salon, you'll think I'm a unicorn.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GrumpyBahr: People who eat hotdogs from a gas station, you know there's faster ways to commit suicide?
@JohnLyonTweets: I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower.
@SciencePorn: The best thing about the Pluto image from NASA is the silhouette of Pluto the dog right on it.
@funnybeachgirl: 2 goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says "YOU MAN THE GUNS, I'LL DRIVE!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm not deleting this)