@topaz_kell: If you look up my hair color history at the salon, you'll think I'm a unicorn.
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@stephenjmolloy: Barber: "How would you like your hair cut, sir?" Me: "With scissors." Barber: "Very good, sir." *puts samurai sword down*
@ItsAndyRyan: "Whats your biggest weakness?" "I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*
@TheCareBare: "Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning." -me, speaking to this leftover pizza.