@AdamUrbane: If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
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@jackiembouvier: Well, Jesus, now all Samsung's competitors have to say is "we won't blow up in your pocket and set you ablaze!"
@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.
@AsgardianRose: Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no.
@ashmensch: "I'm gonna make you so happy, baby. And then I'm gonna make you real sad." - gas station nachos