@AdamUrbane: If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
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@better_off_dad: God: I made a rainbow! Devil: I'm making all the fire alarm batteries die in the middle of the night.
@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
@anildash: Shout out to everybody home for the holidays telling their family about conversations that happened online by saying "My, uh… friend said…"