@AdamUrbane: If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
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@SteveKoehler22: Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?
@BruceForce: Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get "punch" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*
@mjkspeaks: Maybe Jehovah's Witnesses keep knock knock knocking because they're looking for Heaven's Door. You don't know.
@rpbateman: This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote "sexy" on all of his wife's friends' pics.