@AdamUrbane: If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
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@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.
@riesypiecey: Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.
@my_minivan_life: Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.
@agathagotstoned: Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives.