@ThatBrenna: If you lose a tooth in a bar fight and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will leave you $100 because you're hardcore.
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@NotKarma: Found $10 in a pants pocket. It was awkward though because someone was still wearing it.
@JermHimselfish: I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back.
@WheelTod: Virgin Airlines original advertising slogan was "We're so sorry about that but If you give us a chance we swear it will be better next time"
@lazerdoov: I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I'll already be done my work and I can leave early