@rorygneesmith: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them.
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@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
@stevevsninjas: Blind guy: I love this half-sandwich restaurant. Me: What do you mean? This place only serves whole- Service dog: *puts a paw on my lips*
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment.