@ashleyaustrew: If you love someone, set them free. If they cry and refuse to leave the bathroom you're in, they're your kids.
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@Manda_like_wine: Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down.
@askceil: How to Talk To A Woman Who Is Hiding Behind That Plant. Now She's In The Alley. Wow, She's A Fast Runner. How To Talk To The Police.