@Jtweeters: If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian.
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@Douchekevin: When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk.
@N0pantz: Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
@Awesome_Todd: I like to remind my kids who's boss by putting a cherry tomato on top of their ice cream sundaes every once in a while.
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.