@AhmedAllabidy: If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix
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@WhiskeyandMeds: It's all fun and games until HR sends an email with "Your Twitter Account" in the subject line.
@TheBoydP: My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me.
@BuckyIsotope: HONEY I ACCIDENTALLY FILLED THE BABY'S BOTTLE WITH RED BULL Oh god, is he sick HE'S GOT ME IN A HEAD LOCK AND IS SAYING I'M A NERD. CALL 911