@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
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@Blarebare: The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the "happy ending".
@Stabby_smurf: If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision.
@jewfacekilla: Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime? Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.