@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
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@DBMaxP: Look... don't end your presentation with "Are there any questions?" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle.
@animaldrumss: son, you don't need to close your eyes, it's just a movie. the killer from the movie can still get you even if you're not watching it
@huntigula: her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?