@weinerdog4life: If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise.
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@SequelsWeWant: Freaky Friday 2: The mom and daughter switch bodies again The mom doesn't go back She keeps stealing children's bodies She lives forever
@generaldietz: Me: I save a bunch of time by not having to tie my shoes. Her: What do you do with the time saved? Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what?
@samuelhlowe: - Baby, do you think I have too much makeup on? - That depends. Are you gonna try to kill Batman?