@BestWorstAdvice: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.
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@slimmy_shady: At Walmart checkout other day:Cashier: "you have a dog?" Scanning dog food.Hubz: No, our kid needs the protein.
@novicefather: [opens door for two Jehovah's witnesses] Ugh...ok come in. The goat blood is in a vial on the table. I'll get the virgin from the basement.
@senorwinces: Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.