@captainkalvis: cop: what do we put for cause of death
me: health complications
cop: but he was beheaded
me: really complicates one's health, doesn't it
@bracealmighty: My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone.
@d_duhwit: Me: I treat my body like a temple.
*leaves body in the Mexican jungle for 500 years*
@PinkCamoTO: I've had my phone battery die at a family function. Nothing scares me now.
@Swishergirl24: Doctor: You have bronchitis
Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?
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