@Kyle_Lippert: If you love something, let it go. Let it run until it reaches the invisible wall & the shock collar you attached to it's ankle cripples them
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@smint: Hey wanna take the elevator with me and discuss what day of the week it feels like? And then we can go over what day it actually is, deal?
@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
@Death_Buddy: *On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE.
@JediGigi: Therapist: You try too hard to get people to like you Me: [painting her toenails] I need a "for instance"