@senderblock23: If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back.
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@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes
@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired
@lovemyboots111: Ladies, if your man says he'll fix it, he will. There's no reason to remind him every 6 months.
@justaride: I accidentally answered the phone with my last name and got promoted to homicide detective