@lawblob: if you love something set it free. except Shamu.. we all love Shamu but he must be imprisoned forever
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@WheelTod: [Raiding ISIS Safehouse] Green leader: Area secured. Over Me: Apple Turn. Over GL: Wha Me: Extreme make. Over GL: Take that guy out too
@ambamthankyamam: Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir...
@sploosk: ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid
@AimeeHelene1: Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers "you're next"*