@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you love something set it on fire. If it doesn't die, you have a dragon.
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@rambo_dogg: If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending
@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.
@gagging: Michael Jackson breaks into WALMART. He only steals lotion. Turning to the security camera he whispers "smooth criminal" and moonwalks away