@BromanConsul: if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named "Maude" or "Agatha" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine
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@jannable9: Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places; 1/Walk slow 2/Stop for no reason 3/Repeat above
@Brentweets: I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking "What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"
@Brampersandon_: ME: I cant make it in today BOSS: again? why M: my car died B: that's the same excuse you used yesterday M: yeah but today's the funeral
@Book_Krazy: Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? "Sure"[click] Couple: How does it look? "I just got my hair done, so pretty good"