@Darlainky: If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page.
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@Midgetspar: My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
@david8hughes: [turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here