@Darlainky: If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page.
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@Book_Krazy: "It's one of those new Hoverboards!" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. "Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"
@KingPatrick24: The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you can't just deep-fry everything ME: what do you mean? WIFE: I mean put down the cat
@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.