@Drivelodeon: If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all.
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@BDGarp: Okay, you got me, I'm not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?
@TheBoydP: Protip: If a party guest says "I don't dance" what he's really telling you is "make my drinks stronger please".
@KentWGraham: My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.