@rickkondell: If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
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@est1975blog: I never knew my son was 80 years old until he told me to text our neighbor because "his leaves are getting on our lawn."
@skittle624: Just took my 3 dogs to the vet, so the family will be feasting on ramen noodles, beans, and no name chips for the next few months. At least the dogs are taken care of.
@Bandersnaaatch: Hell hath no fury like this woman attempting to type "scorned" and having it autocorrected to "scrotum" 13 times in a row.