@rickkondell: If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
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@i_wantMyBiitch: I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro...
@hippieswordfish: THERAPIST: how do you feel ME: with my hands THERAPIST: no, like on the inside ME: ohhh...idk probably kinda squishy and weird
@BakwasRadio: Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him.
@heroinsdemise: Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"