@rickkondell: If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
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@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.
@robfee: Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.