@MrPudmansButler: If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me.
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@SassMouth8: Told my kid not to touch the floor of the bathroom, so he licked the doorknob instead. The dumb is strong in this one.
@Probgoblin: Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself.
@_Tempo11: If you leave your dog tied up outside a corner store I'm walking it. No need to ask. Be back soon.
@CornOnTheGoblin: me: [performing autopsy] so I've been practicing my ventriloquism assistant: now's not the time corpse: aw come on